The first play of the second quarter, Chris Cooley, TE for the Washington Redskins, breaks his right ankle. In his first five seasons, Chris Cooley managed to play every single game, then, after two pro bowls and 30 touchdowns, it appears that Chris Cooley is headed for the injury reserve with a season ending injury. My condolences to Chris, his friends and family, and to Redskins fans everywhere. To ease the pain, here are some cheerleaders, the one on the left is totally sassy:
After pondering this tragic event for a while, it occurs to me that after 87 games without a serious injury, Chris Cooley must be invincible. Not invincible like Jesus or Steven Segal are invincible, more like invincible the way Colossus from the X-Men is invincible. Football players don’t just get injured as their careers go on, obviously, foul play was at work here. So, with my magnifying glass, note pad and this chick, I went a sleuthing – Sherlock Holmes style!
With my trusty sleuthing tools and my watson-esque sidekick (sans the service revolver and narration of this story) I embarked on my quest to find the real truth behind the injury of Chris Cooley. I began my inquiry in the redskins locker room on the theory that his pads or shoes had been booby-trapped. Opening his locker I find something that only Chris Cooley would leave in a locker…
“Oh man, thanks for setting me free. I was going to surprise Chris after the game, but, I guess he didn’t stop by his locker after his injury,” said the random cheerleader.
“It’s not a problem, now go away, I’m totally sleuthing now,” I stated with extreme awesomeness.
Fearing that the conspiracy against Chris Cooley was more widespread, I hit the internet to locate some more facts about the conditions surrounding the injury. After googling “Miley Cyrus Eagles Fan” I found 820,000 hits, and, our prime culprit. Miley Cyrus a.k.a. Hannah Montana.
Then it all became clear to me. Just like Scientology and Xenu had forced Suri Cruise to wear Redskins pajamas in exchange for Detroit to win, here it was again, staring me in the face.
Miley Cyrus is the devil and she’s the one who injured Chris Cooley’s ankle because she’s an ardent Eagles fan who hates puppies and Santa!!
Note from the author: Admittedly, this was a lazily produced entry. Clearly more nuance is needed but, posting pictures of cheerleaders pays the bills, and after last night’s game I just don’t have it in me. Plus, seriously, the Redskins just lost their best player. Yeah, I guess you could make the argument that Clinton Portis is just as necessary to the offense, but, Cooley is super badass. Sherm Lewis sucks, Jim Zorn sucks and Dan Snyder actually is the devil. Sell the team, everyone hates you, hell, pull a Green Bay and make it fan owned, I’ll bet you can make money. I’ll let you play in my fantasy league if you sell the team. It’s pretty awesome, we drink Natty Light kegs during parties (of which we totally have 3!)
Side note: Just in case the wrong person reads this – Miley Cyrus is not the devil, this is a joke and is intended to be viewed as satire. As stated above, Dan Snyder is way more of the devil than both Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana, and, again, in case the wrong person reads this – Dan Snyder is also not literally the devil.
On the KC team report on October 15th, free safety Jarrad Page said ”As a team, I think we’ve done everything we can to be a good team, the only thing we haven’t done is win games. Until we do that, we can’t consider ourselves a good team.” At the time, I thought this was one of the stupidest things I had ever heard. As such, I concluded that a team full of retarded defenders would provide an opportunity for the Washington Redskins to finally break their self inflicted scoring ceiling of 17 points.
Oh yeah, Santa’s helpers… But I digress. Given an opportunity to fine tune, or, at the very least, progress on the offensive side of the ball, the Redskins showed during the game that they were, at best, impotent, to the point that Jim Zorn had to take Jason Campbell out as quarterback and replace him with veteran Todd Collins.
Wow, I suddenly care about breast cancer awareness. And pink pom poms apparently. At any rate, the addition of Todd Collins, while an improvement over Jason Campbell still did not produce any touchdowns for the beleagured Redskins offense.
Whoa, are those chicks stretching? Or is this a cheer? If that’s a cheer, every cheerleading squad in the world needs to take some notes from the Chargers cheerleaders. Lesson 1: If you’re on the ground, writhing around, you’re doing something right. Lesson 2: I don’t know, too busy something something something. So, while the change to Todd Collins eventually netted two field goals for the Skins, one weakness present with Jason Campbell still remained highly visible – Red Zone offense.
Holy crap that blonde is good looking. I was a little disappointed while panning the picture to see three cheerleaders out of focus, but, wow, totally worth it, that girl is freakin stunning! Maybe they do make them better in Texas? Perhaps that whole, “loving Jesus” thing has some merit? People in Texas are big into that, right? Wow, that chick is something. Anyways, yeah, red zone offense. The Redskins managed a 78 yard run on the back of Clinton Portis bringing the skins all the way to KC’s 10 yard line. Easy enough, right? Well, easy enough for Suisham who kicked a 28 yard FG, apparently impossible for everyone else.
In the rain, wow, what a trooper! Plus, it’s like she’s looking directly into my eyes. Are you asking me out Ms. Cheerleader? Can a picture actually do that? I don’t think I care, and yes, yes cheerleader picture, I will go out with you. We can go to a really fancy restaurant because, you being two dimensional and a cheerleader, probably don’t eat much. We’ll have a terrific relationship.
Wow, Carolina cheerleader who isn’t quite paying attention, you are downright gorgeous! You’re even better looking than ol’ whats-her-face above you. You should call me sometime, I’m a really nice guy. And honest. And rich, very very rich. I own 10 bentleys.
Doesn’t the chick on the right look like Keri Russel? I think she does, maybe it’s her? Someone should look into that.
Step 1: stick out ass, step 2: stick out chest. That is all kinds of awesome!
I think I was talking about something in this post? Puppies or something? More like sweater puppies! Yes!!
I love blondes. Wait! This is TalkingSkins, I should be talking about the Redskins!
Done and done. Pulitzer prize, please!
Source: USA Today NFL Cheerleaders pictures – http://www.usatoday.com/sports/gallery/football/s090701_cheerleaders/flash.htm?gid=1079&aid=4986
I haven’t been posting. Mostly, the reason is I’m not a fan of recording my vitriol and there has been little else coming from the Skins section of my brain. (Thinking about writing a post on the Caps…)
But seeing this little diddy was just too much. I just had to share it.
From an AP article, regarding the Skins hiring of Sherman Lewis:
Cerrato said it has not been determined what Lewis’ role will be.
“They’ll get that figured out here in the next day,” Cerrato said.
Guh?
Let’s break this down. Vinny hired a dude for a position. This position is one for which the Skins previously believed they had no need. The hiring means they now believe the need is there. But the position’s role is not yet determined. So, they need a guy for something, but they don’t know what that something is. How exactly did they choose a person before knowing what he would do? How could you know if he’s good at it?? Ack!
I’m picturing my boss coming in tomorrow.
Boss: Welcome Sherm, he’s a new guy. I don’t know what he’ll do, but he’s going to stand right next to you while you work. Sound good?
Me: No.
Boss: Doesn’t matter what you think – deal with it. I’m off to tell the world I hired Sherm, but don’t know why.
Then I would fear for my job security. Oh yeah, and once news of this got out, every one else would seriously question why the heck they’d ever apply for a job with this organization.
16 to 13. Redskins win. Fed Ex field erupts in cheers and laughter. Children smile and Washington fans let the abortion of a loss to the Lions fade in their memories. Everything was right with the world, but, Jim Zorn knew the truth. He knew someone would find out. He knew the Washington Post would eventually catch wind of his dealings, and it was eating him up inside.
Jim Zorn had remembered, vividly, the wreck that was last week’s game. He knew his job was on the line. While he also thought that other forces were at work during the match up with the Lions, he knew he had to come away with a win. So, Jim Zorn contacted the only person he knew could deliver such an impossible gift. Santa.
Santa, after reading Jim Zorn’s heartfelt letter, felt compelled to help the struggling coach.
So, Santa decided to take action, and he knew right where to start. Santana Moss. Santa visited Santana on Saturday night before the game, giving him the gravest of warnings.
“Santana, this is Santa, first, your name is goddamn ridiculous, secondly, if you don’t score at least one touchdown this weekend I’ll shoot every moderately attractive ho you try to scam on, starting with this one”
Santana, seeing the gravity in Santa’s face, and realizing that his parents named him “Santa”-”na”, vowed to get a touchdown pass. Santa then went to visit Chris Cooley and Clinton Portis, finding them both on the practice field, he approached them both to deliver his warning.
“Clinton and Chris, you two must make touchdown passes or there will be TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES” Santa said to them both.
“LOOK AT MAH SHORTS! THEY ARE THE TINY!” Yelled Cooley.
“FUCK YO COUCH, COOLEY! LOOK AT THIS HAMBURGER! IT GOT CHEESE!” Yelled Portis.
Santa, realizing that Portis and Cooley had lost their minds quickly gave up. He knew Santana Moss wouldn’t risk losing all that mediocre trim and also knew that he couldn’t kill a hamburger or a pair of short shorts.
The game begins. Zorn knew Santa tried his best to deliver the win, Moss was unbelievably motivated during warm ups, so something was going right. The Bucs pass to Antonio Bryant in the end zone… TOUCHDOWN BUCCANEERS! Zorn begins questioning the deal he made with Santa. Can Santa even give someone a win for Christmas? Can he give someone a win on a random Sunday in October? Mike Nugent connects with a 37 yard field goal! Tampa Bay lead 10-0.
“What the hell? That retard waits until game 4 against us to even make a field goal? Fuck Santa,” Says Zorn with desperation in his voice.
Then the 3rd quarter begins, and so does the Skins scoring drive. First come a field goal, then, a Cooley touch down. With only one catch in the game, and his hos on the line, Moss knows he has to come up with something big. 59 YARD TOUCHDOWN RECEPTION… SANTANA MOSS!!
Zorn knew who to thank for his win, he knew who was responsible for such luck. Santa.
“Zorn, let this be a lesson from Santa. Campbell sucks.”
Like many Washington Redskins fans I watched the game on Sunday afternoon. Like many Washington Redskins fans I was left feeling sad, disappointed, and betrayed that my team broke the Detroit Lion’s 19 game losing streak. Surely, I thought, after an offseason where we picked up pro bowl lineman Albert Haynesworth, and drafted defensive end Brian Orakpo from Texas, we would have an unstoppable defense. Surely, I thought, another year for Jim Zorn and another year for Jason Campbell would create a better passing game, a more balanced offense, and more points. To the untrained eye, it appeared that I was wrong about those things.
Let me paint a picture for you: On a small planet, Teegeeack, thousands of hydrogen bombs blast out of volcanoes, billions die in an instant, their souls wandering the planet only to be captured and brainwashed. Sound terrifying, right? It should because Teegeeack is Earth! Not the Earth you and I are familiar with, but Earth as it was during the rule of the Galactic Confederacy 75 million years ago. And this atrocity, committed by the evil ruler Xenu (or Xemu depending on what part of Wikipedia you glance at), cleverly deposed billions of his confederates and, to this day, cause all the horrible afflictions you see today. Luckily, eventually Xenu was overthrown and locked in an electronic mountain prison of sorts.
The universe was peaceful, until, Sunday, one o’clock pm eastern time, Detroit, Michigan. The NFL football game between the Washington Redskins and the Detroit Lions begins. Washington kicks off, Detroit promptly punts, Redskins move the ball down the field 75 yards to the 1 yard line. 4-goal on the 1 yard line, beginning of the game, time to get on the board with a field goal from Shaun Shuisam….. “Go for it” says Coach Zorn.
Go for it? With more than 7 minutes in the first quarter remaining? What is going on here?
FAIL! Turnover on downs at the one yard line! Detroit then drives down the field until, at the Washington 33 yard line, 3rd and 4 yards, Detroit commits a 10 yard penalty! Washington has stopped the drive! Detroit’s only option is a 50 yard field goal…. “Penalty accepted” says Coach Zorn. Matt Stafford runs for 21 yards, 1st down. Matt Stafford passes for 21 yards, TOUCHDOWN DETROIT! 99 yards after the Washington Redskins turn over the ball on downs. Seven to zero, Detroit leads. Xenu laughs, menacingly.
The remainder of the game is Washington, fruitlessly trying to make up for those two insidious mistakes of the first quarter. Those two mistakes that cost them 7 points. I thought to myself, “there is no way a professional like Jim Zorn would make such reckless calls as he did in the first quarter, something fishy must be going on”. It was then I read this from Larry Wiesmann (via DC Sports Blog):
“[Tom] Cruise says his daughter [Suri Cruise] loves the Redskins and always wears the Redskins pajamas the Snyders gave her.”
I like to think this is the innocent face of a beautiful child.
Suri Cruise (from theinsider dot com)
But I know the truth. Tom Cruise was born in Syracuse, NY, not in Washington, which means he would like the Buffalo Bills, the team trounced by the Washington Redskins during the entire 80s and early 90s. Those same Redskins which routinely denied the Bills a super bowl ring. He should, nay, he MUST hate the Redskins with infinite passion. His vengeance runs deep, deeper than the deepest chasm, so much so that he was the perfect vessel of Xenu, the imprisoned galactic ruler.
Tom Cruise, a practicing and enthusiastic Scientologist, knows of Xenu, and made an exchange. He told Xenu “I will force my one daughter to wear the pj’s of my enemy if you will smite the Redskins!” Xenu agreed. It was then that Xenu visited Jim Zorn in his dreams. He gave Coach Zorn an image of the great Clinton Portis ramming through a beleaguered Detroit defensive line. Putting touchdown after touchdown into the end zone. He gave Coach Zorn images of a defense impenetrable by Matt Stafford’s impotent offense, immune to repeated attempts, humiliated on all 3rd and longs. During the first quarter Coach Zorn took these visions to heart, and made the mistake at the goal line, and then again with the mistake on the penalty. He awoke from the daze that he was in, but too late, Xenu had already won.
Cruise PBS
And the Buffalo Bills had finally gotten their revenge.
Note: This is a work of fiction and satire, this isn’t true and isn’t based on fact. Please don’t sue me. I’m looking at you Scientology. Keep those lawyers in your pants. Just a joke, mainly on Buffalo fans.
Sources: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2009/09/time_to_make_a_change_obviousl.html#more
Lousy offensive performance. Luckily they got a fake FG to turn into a TD or else the game would not have been close.
I put the blame on Coach Zorn. He did very little to show that he has confidence in J Campbell… Fuck, Randle El threw the skins’ first pass of 2009! And that play was horribly timed and horribly executed.
I don’t think JCam threw the ball until the 2nd possession.
Zorn seemed to be upset with a few of Campbell’s decisions (read INT’s) but I put that blame on the this so called QB Coach Genious Jim Zorn, not even the QB coach who Zorn also seemed to be pissed at.
When Campbell was throwing the ball on a regular basis and able to get in a rhythm, he looked good and the skins moved the ball with ease.
Some could say that Portis had a good game, but I disagree. You take away that 34 yard run and he averaged about 2 yards a carry.
Again, I put that blame on Zorn… Just horrible play calling. The skins seem to run the ball to the left side every other play. Very few draw plays, just simply run to the left, get 2 yards, play over. PATHETIC.
Zorn needs to get a lot more creative with the offense, and that does NOT mean more “trick” plays. Has he seen the Patriots play? They do Draw & Play Action plays all of the time, you never know what they are going to do. With the skins it’s, run to the left, short pass or screen pass… repeated about 15 times.
Defensively the skins looked OK, but not great. Hall sucked, bad tackling and bad schemes were to blame. I don’t know exactly what “schemes” would have been better, but Eli was way to comfortable back there and he never had trouble finding an open receiver.
The skins struggled to tackle, and/or push a player out of bounds!
And Hall lived up to what we have come to expect when the skins blow their load on an unproven player… How can anyone justify all of that money they gave him! He can’t cover, he can’t tackle, I guess he can catch the ball better than the average DB, YIPPEE!!!!
I did like Fat Albert’s performance. I don’t think we can complain about his effort and/or production yet. Just please stay healthy! I think the entire DC area shit themselves when he was slow to get up that one time.
Orakpo seemed invisible, but I don’t expect anything for his first game in the NLF against one of the best o-lines in the NFL.
I underestimated the Giants too (here). They do have the highest paid QB in the game and he looks like he deserves the money. Great o-line and great defensive line and linebackers. Even with an “injury plaugued” backfeild they seemed to shut the Skin’s WR’s down.
Ravens +3: San Diego is good, but, they’re not that good. Ravens have a revamped passing game even though Derrick Mason is closer to 40 than 30 and Flacco seems more inclined to throw it opening up the field for one of their many great RBs
My predictions on in the right column
| 9/13 |  @ Giants |
4:15 PM ET | FOX | Skins 17 Giants 14
Skins come out strong. They debut a new offense (PASS DOWN THE FIELD) They take advantage of the fact that giants secondary is hurting. Malcom Kelly actually does something… I’m predicting something good, but it could go either way…. Skins win with a strong DEF and ClinPo. |
| 9/20 |  VS Rams |
1:00 p.m. ET | FOX | Skins 27 – Rams 10
I remember being at this game and watching in dismay. I’m sure the skins do too. I truly believe this loss last year is what caused the skins to lose faith and punt the rest of the season. Payback time. |
| 9/27 |  @ Lions |
1:00 p.m. ET | FOX | Skins 21 – Lions 20
It’s a close one, but the skins find a way to win. They play down to the competition like always and almost lose a gimme. |
| 10/4 |  VS Buccaneers |
1:00 p.m. ET | FOX | Skins 28 – Bucs 17
33 year old coach! Fired offensive coordinator… NO WAY that works out good for this team. Prediction for the season, all of newly hired coaches under the age of 35 finish with a record below .250. Same thing for the teams that fired a coordinator…. |
| 10/11 |  @ Panthers |
1:00 p.m. ET | FOX | Carolina 28 – Skins 16
Skins come back to earth. Get run over by DAW and J Stewart. Still, 1/4 o the way through the season, 4-1 fearless prediction, I’m happy. |
| 10/18 |  VS Chiefs |
1:00 p.m. ET | CBS | Skins 17 – Chiefs 16
Don’t know why the skins struggle with this one, oh wait, because they play horrid against bad teams… They win though, they have to, right?! |
| 10/26 |  VS Eagles |
8:30 p.m. ET | ESPN | Skins 23 – Eagles 20 F/ OT
Yes, I’m actually predicting overtime here. Big game, skins play well against the Eagles, and I’m hoping that the E |
| 11/8 |  @ Falcons |
1:00 p.m. ET | FOX | Skins 21 – Falcons 20
My gut feeling was going to give the skins a L here, BUT, they have an extra week to prepare. I never pick a team to lose after a bye week. The skins rarely seem to capitalize, but this season things are different. |
| 11/15 |  VS Broncos |
1:00 p.m. ET | CBS | Skins 17 – Den 9
New young coach. Lost their 2 best offensive weapons, no way we lose to denver here. |
| 11/22 |  @ Cowboys |
1:00 p.m. ET | FOX | Skins 17 – Cowgirls 24
Skins are due for a loss, Cowgirls need this game because they are below .500 |
| 11/29 | @ Eagles |
1:00 p.m. ET | FOX | Skins 10 – Eagles 21
First 2 game loosing streak, Eagles are pissed about the previous game. Vick does something good. McCoy might be in and he’ll start off playing better than Westbrooke. |
| 12/6 |  VS Saints |
1:00 p.m. ET | FOX | Saints 42 – Skins 28
It’s a fun game to watch. More fun if you are a Saints fan. Skins lose 3 in a row, Media starts to freak out, anyone with a brain knows it’s not big deal, unless the skins are sub .500 then its worry time. |
| 12/13 |  @ Raiders |
4:05 p.m. ET | FOX | Skins win.
Don’t know / care about the score. THey win here, they have too. Traveling to OAK worries me slightly, but they still win, they have to, RIGHT?! |
| 12/21 | VS Giants |
8:30 p.m. ET | ESPN | Giants 28 – Skins 10
Giants are in their playoff form and are rolling. Skins are hurting, but still in the playoff picture. |
| 12/27 | VS Cowboys |
8:20 p.m. ET | NBC | Skins 21 – Dallas 18
The playoffs start here for the Skins. They find a way to win, Dallas’s season is over, ROMO cries at FedEx field, its a beautiful sight. |
| 1/3 |  @ Chargers |
4:15 p.m. ET | FOX | Skins 28 – Chargers 14
Chargers rest their starter because they are 10 games ahead of the 2nd place team in their division. Hopefully that is the case, bc I doubt the skins can beat these guys at full strength. They find a way to win though, make the playoffs. |
End of Season Record: 11-5
Skins split games with all 3 division teams.
Lose to Carolina and Saints.
Skins win the Division.
Each year, Hicks and I pick the winner of each of the Skins game before the start of the season. Because I’m at crunch time, that’s all the explanation I’m giving. Wait, I ought to explain the title. Last year I picked us to finish 10-6, so there you go. On with it:
9/13 @ Giants 4:15 PM
Tough way to open a season. I think this game will be close they whole way through. That is, I think it will be low-scoring and feature incredible d-line work. I’m going against my gut instinct and picking the Skins. WIN
9/20 VS Rams 1:00 p.m.
If last season’s performance against the Rams wasn’t enough reason for the Skins to get pumped for this game then let’s not forget that the Rams aren’t any good. WIN
9/27 @ Lions 1:00 p.m
I’m feeling full of high hopes already. I could say the same thing here that was said about the Rams game. WIN
10/4 VS Buccaneers 1:00 p.m
Wow, what a gift of an early schedule. However, the Bucs could be winless at this point and desperate to perform for their young coach. I’m afraid here. LOSS
10/11 @ Panthers 1:00 p.m
Trust me, I’m not a believer in the Panthers and have never liked Delhomme (as is well documented even on this site). But they still have a good o-line, great runners, Steve Smith, and an always decent defense. A more dependable team than the Skins. LOSS
10/18 VS Chiefs 1:00 p.m.
Perfect matchup to get back on track. Our defense could win this game for us – they’ll be out for blood. WIN
10/26 VS Eagles 8:30 p.m.
I am frightened by what the Eagles could do this year. I’m glad this game is at home on a Monday night, but wait… no that’s not much of a home field advantage! Can the NFL please give us a MNF game against a team that has to travel further than Skins fans in Fredericksburg! LOSS
11/8 @ Falcons 1:00 p.m.
Falcons won’t have as good a record this year as last, but they are still a good team. I’m glad for the bye week before this. I think by this point the Skins will be looking at the schedule and thinking wins are going to be hard to come by from here on out. WIN
11/15 VS Broncos 1:00 p.m.
Thank goodness we don’t have to play a mile high for this game. That might actually have made me pick Denver. WIN
11/22 @ Cowboys 1:00 p.m.
Their new stadium is grotesque. But they’ll be used to it and we won’t. I think this will be an advantage to the Cowgirls this season. LOSS
11/29 @ Eagles 1:00 p.m.
DAMN YOU NFC EAST! Skins nation goes into conniptions after this game: “oh no, not again!”. LOSS
12/6 VS Saints 1:00 p.m.
Conniptions continue as this game looks dismal to start with. But our D figures out what to do at halftime and takes it over. Portis runs roughshod over weak Saints D as game wears on. close WIN
12/13 @ Raiders 4:05 p.m.
Wheee! WIN
12/21 VS Giants 8:30 p.m.
Giants exact revenge on our turf. LOSS
12/27 VS Cowboys 8:20 p.m.
Our you f’ing kidding me schedule makers? Back to back NFC East games at end of the season with only 5 days between games that are both on national TV? Balls. Our D has got ‘em though. Our revenge time. WIN
1/3 @ Chargers 4:15 p.m.
Wow, and then we travel across the country so that the Chargers can play a January game in 70 degrees. We’d win this game 7 or 8 times out of 10 at our house in January. But after that grueling/ridiculous previous two weeks, we could be a wee bit (read: very) worn down. LOSS
Final record: 9-7
Reflections: Win that Bucs game and we’re contending for a playoff spot.
Reflection 2: Thank goodness for the AFC West
A post in which I make predictions, guaranteed to be incorrect (not for a lack of trying), for the order of finish in each division of the NFL for the 2010 season.
The impetus for this post is years and years of Hicks and I bashing the sports experts’ predictions. Indeed, they are the experts, the specialists, the insiders. I don’t deny that: we all can be experts at something and its generally the thing you do for a paycheck. What we do bash them for is how they predict things as if sports are predictable. They aren’t: it’s one of the many reasons millions upon millions watch and follow sports. It’s also the reason Vegas takes in billions upon billions of smackers.
So why pick along with them? I don’t get paid to watch football, but do watch a good bit; I don’t get caught up in hype; and I’m not a dimwit. So, on two out of three counts I’m ahead of the people who do this for a living. Let’s try to remember to look back at this at the close of the season to compare with ESPN, SI, NFL.com, and so on endlessly. Crap, that means I need to go pull all of those and save them after I do this. On that note, I’m cutting my explanation to one or two sentences/somewhat intelligible phrases per team. FYI, I haven’t looked at any predictions by the experts. I wasn’t planning to until I proposed comparing just now.
